The men who tread on tiger’s tail

Hello my dear friends, tigersamachar wants to prove that it is dare enough to write about anyone in this world. I hope you know that self is the most important person in this world. Today I am writing about myself, the tiger in your own words. If tiger has many things to write about his friends, it is obvious that they have to tell much more about tiger. It is the same as you are pointing your finger to others, three will be pointing you at the same time.

Tiger is very special and he is known for his grasp of detail and intellectual rigor. Whatever he does, he follow his own way. The best example is his english during his early days at IIT. Once you listen to it you will get to know the Vatakara accent of Malayalam even if you are not a malayali.

He is excellent in taking advantage of his mistakes; It is well known among his friends that, once in Advanced General Physics Lab, he did an experiment with only 3 trial while the rest of the students with 10. However he managed to get the exact result (any policeman can get exact result through reverse calculation!). When he was asked about how he got the exact result with less samples, his explanation was very logical — Since others used ten samples they cannot concentrate much on the measurement but he used only three samples and got enough time to take very accurate measurements.

As in the “Dracula” of Bram Stoker, all his friends has their own horrible experience with tiger. That ranges from Keshulal, who could not get admission in IIT because of tiger to Cuttappanay, who lost professorship in a University[0].

Tiger is more dangerous than Dracula. Dracula sucks only your blood but tiger sucks your bright future!!!

Let’s see what Nijil wants to say about tiger. He was with tiger right from the higher secondary school. It was because of tiger he could not qualify any entrance examinations he wrote during his plus two. In the same way, a mutual friend of nijil and tiger lost the admission in IIT because of tiger.

In IIT, the evaluation system is relative grading and hence, it is more important to stop others from studying rather than your study[1]. Nijil has to tell a lot about the exceptional talents of tiger in this matter. In the night before exams tiger used to create some issues with some Bihari or Punjabi. By the time others solve the issue, he go to his room and prepare for the test.

Next is an innovative method for mugging that only tiger can do. He go to bed around 10 PM causing temptation on others to sleep like him, but it was his another trick. He has a special skill to read books inside blanket. He study well inside it and get impressed by others, as he is getting good grades without spending much time to study — Who knows about the mugging inside the blanket…

After people came to know this trick, Nijil told his father to send him a similar blanket that tiger has. His father sent it with tiger. Nijil’s father put some sweets inside blanket before giving it to tiger. When tiger reached IIT he said the balanket has been stolen, but the sweets kept inside blanket reached IIT safely!!!. You can imagine what’s really happened – he sold the blanket on the way as he doesn’t want others applying the same trick.

During second year, tiger introduced a music player in his room. He go to library to study while others waste time in his room with the music player. He won’t listen to it when he is in the room, but he leave it playing with high volume when he is going out so as to disturb the concentration of others. Nijil has lots of things to say, but let us give the way to Raghavan, another victim of tiger.

Raghavan is sure about tiger is the reason to deteriorate his CGPA[2] from second semester onwards. He still remember the incident on the night before the Atomic and Molecular Physics examination. Raghavan was sleeping in his room just to have a rest for one hour, with the lights ‘on’ and set alarm at 10.30 PM to study with a fresh mind after. Tiger came to his room and reset the alrm time to 7 AM and turned off the light. It caused him to go to exam without preparation or even having breakfast. He got the lowest grade for that paper.

Tiger tried a lot to visit Raghavan’s Lab in Paris and to disturb the BEC setup[3] as he did in his Lab at RRI[4]. But the previous experience helped him to keep tiger away from his Lab. Raghavan says he will write a seperate page on this topic. He cut short his words to let Mamu share his experience with you.

Mamu has nothing more to say except, it was tiger who chat with him whole night in skype. Eventually it ended up in stopping his research at KU Leuven in Belgium. Let’s see what SP wants to say.

According to SP, the old version of tigersamachar — the news-print paper version — was tiger’s trick to digress people from real newspapers to stop them from having some general knowledge. He wonder how this tiger who doesn’t even know proper malayalam can manage english.

SP has no doubt about the new tigersamachar is one of a series of tiger’s devious stratagems intending to worsen the english skill of the readers. If you read tigersamachar regularly, you will forget the english grammar completely. If you are planning to give a TOEFL or IELTS test, it is better not to read tigersamachar.

SP says, it was not Kappiri but the tiger, who robbed him at Paris, so as to destroy the laptop containing all his research data and valuable documents. Now you are going to read a paragraph from the diary of Venket, a real Brahmin from Palakkatu.

For Venket it is impossible to forgive the deeds of tiger. He could not even dry his clothes in IIT because of tiger. If he hang it for drying, tiger will come and hang his slippers over his dress. It was tiger’s hobby to sing dual-meaning Malayalam songs about Venket in public. Like Raghavan Venket also wants to write about tiger as a special topic. The list is very long so we will discuss the rest later.

I want to tell you one thing. All the above mentioned allegations against tiger are baseless, as they had found no solid evidence to substantiate the allegations. Let’s thank Nijil, Raghavan, SP, Mamu, Venket and others to give me a chance to write an article like this.

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Notes:
[0]- Names are not real.
[1]- I don’t believe so.
[2]- CGPA: Cumulative Grade Point Average.
[3]- BEC: Bose-Einstein condensation.
[4]- RRI: Raman Research Institute, Bangalore.